The Million Dollar Question

And here is the million dollar question people:

When you have already found the answer to your question why is it that you continue on this emotional and at times destructive path to find a better, less troublesome, less painful, less leaves a sour taste in your mouth an ache in your chest, less difficult answer?

I find myself on the destructive, beat you down when you're already feet deep in it path and i can't seem to pull myself out of it. Just when i think i have convinced myself of the way out off it, i allow some part of the hopeful in me to lead me back to where i no longer feel safe.

I think i may be waiting for a miraculous sign to lead me.

All the Single Ladies

This is not just the title to Beyonce's song, its reality for me now. After 5 years of "belonging" to something I find myself, single. I feel like I should be mourning the end of my relationship or the loss of my partner and the only way I can describe the way I feel, today, is liberated.
As an attempt to not get my words twisted I should clarify that I adored the person I shared my life with. I feel content with what I contributed to the relationship. I read once that when we die we remember the good in life and that must include the people we meet during our lives that made it "good". I will remember the good, the love, the happiness; that is what it's all about, to hold on to the love and allow that love to transform itself into whatever it will be in the end.
But this is not about him or my relationship. It is about rediscovering myself and searching for what made me happy to be me, single and without being dependant on another to feel successful and complete.